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:iconsephiroththepure: More from SephirothThePure


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poems sayings things i wanted to put in here by anastasia5858

Literature by EpicPseudonym


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Submitted on
November 3, 2008
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1,252
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32 (who?)
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60

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Creative Commons License
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Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
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And here we sit
In the same old place.
I just can't stop
Staring at your face.

We're falling apart
Holding each other -
Never let me go,
We'll love one another.

Won't you come
and dance with me awhile?
Only one thing I
Desire - to see your smile.

Smile as we dance,
Laugh away the pain,
Just promise you'll
Dance with me in the rain.

Dance as you laugh
Dance as you cry,
Just dance with me,
As you let out a sigh.

Now dance with me,
Dance away your pain.
Show me your love,
Let's dance in the rain.
Just something I typed up while at work. I kinda like it - actually, I really like it. We'll see what else I can come up with using the idea of dancing in the rain.

I just love the imagery of dancing in the rain with your love. I've been tossing ideas around for a poem themed around dancing, and I've also always liked it when it rained. So the two ideas really clicked, for some reason. I churned this out a bit quicker than I would've liked, and I've tweaked it a bit since posting it (both reasons because I was closing the office when I finished it), but overall I really like the way it came out.

Constructive criticism is appreciated.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsera-cassie:
seRa-casSie Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2010
WOW! that's really good i love it XD
hehe i love the idea of dancing in the rain its so carefreee and ... nice XD
Reply
:iconalastorofalbion:
AlastorOfAlbion Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2009
Tres nice
Reply
:iconsephiroththepure:
SephirothThePure Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2009
Arigatou gozaimasu.

I really like the way this turned out, but I've been thinking of re-working some of the verses.
Reply
:iconforgottenangel777:
Forgottenangel777 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2008
blah blah, I know I've commented on this before, but I absolutely love this piece. :) I just keep reading it every time I check out your page, makes me cry every time. :) Great job, Sephy.
Reply
:iconsephiroththepure:
SephirothThePure Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2008
Aww, thanks. I don't know why it makes you cry, but I'm glad you like it. :D I've been thinking about making a visual poetry version of this, but I don't know exactly how I wanna do it. I'm thinking about it. If I get it done, I might offer it as a print on here. Then maybe you can get a copy and hang it up in your room or something. That'd be cool. :XD:
Reply
:iconforgottenangel777:
Forgottenangel777 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2008
Yay. =D Do it! lol
Reply
:iconsephiroththepure:
SephirothThePure Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2008
I've got a couple different ideas I'm thinking of trying. Though the one I like the most right now might be the hardest (or most expensive) to do.
Reply
:iconforgottenangel777:
Forgottenangel777 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2008
Hrm.. How expensive?
Reply
:iconsephiroththepure:
SephirothThePure Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2008
Depends. The idea was to have someone model the scenes I'm planning out and have real life images. They might have to be photoshopped to look like rain, cause I doubt I can do that myself and have it look realistic. So I'd have to pay for the model(s) and/or the photoshopping. Unless I can work something out with someone here on dA. I could take the pictures myself if the models were in my area, but if it's someone from dA, then I doubt that would be the case.

All depends on what I can arrange. I could look for stock images, but it's highly unlikely I can find stock images that specific...as a set...using the same model(s). Who knows, though? Price could be anywhere from dirt cheap to astronomical. I have no clue. And unless it's dirt cheap, I have no chance of paying it.
Reply
:iconforgottenangel777:
Forgottenangel777 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2008
:(
If I can help in any way, please let me know.
Reply
:iconsephiroththepure:
SephirothThePure Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2008
I dunno. If I think of anything, I'll let you know. Thanks for the support, though. Sorry if the massive wall of text frightened you. :XD:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconepicpseudonym:
EpicPseudonym Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
Good poem! It has song potential.
Reply
:iconsephiroththepure:
SephirothThePure Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2008
Why thank you. I like the new icon. :D

I thought about the possibility of turning it into a song. We'll see. I've got so many other projects on my plate right now, though...I don't know. We'll see.
Reply
:iconepicpseudonym:
EpicPseudonym Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
I copy and pasted my facebook icon. The best part, it was already 50x50 pixels! Yay, copy and paste!
Reply
:iconsephiroththepure:
SephirothThePure Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2008
Copy and Paste FTW!!

:XD:
Reply
:icongongjins:
gongjins Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2008  Professional Digital Artist
I love the visual in this piece, thank you so much ~
Reply
:iconsephiroththepure:
SephirothThePure Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2008
Shouldn't it be me saying thank you? :D Glad you like it. This is one of my personal favorites, too. I'm working on ideas to continue with this scenario (dancing in the rain with your love), but I'm not the best artist, so it doesn't come out the way I want. :XD:
Reply
:icongongjins:
gongjins Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2008  Professional Digital Artist
But thats why you keep on trying until you get it the way you want!~ Don't be discouraged~ Keep it up *cheers*
Reply
:iconsephiroththepure:
SephirothThePure Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2008
Yeah, my only problem is that I'm a perfectionist...too much of one. If I don't get the result I'm going for, I scrap something. I once had a drawing I was quite proud of, and I showed it to one of my church moms and she says "that reminds me of Michael Jackson." I threw the pic away. I kinda regret it now.
Reply
:icongongjins:
gongjins Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2008  Professional Digital Artist
Even if you're a perfectionist, sometimes imperfection is perfection. I just think, I know I can do better but, I created this to. Next time I'll try even harder. I never have gotten what I make the exact way I want it but, I'm not going to throw it away because it isn't perfect. Sometime's that what I love most about something - its imperfections.
Reply
:iconsephiroththepure:
SephirothThePure Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2008
Yeah, I know what you mean. Thanks for the support. :hug:
Reply
:icongongjins:
gongjins Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2008  Professional Digital Artist
You're welcome~ I'm sorry I don't mean to be contradicting or anything, I hope I don't appear that way.
Reply
:iconsephiroththepure:
SephirothThePure Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2008
No, not at all. I just was running low on time, so had to give a simple reply. :XD: I was agreeing with you.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconpearl-dust:
pearl-dust Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2008   Writer
Subtle.... romantic... moving and tender.... absolutely lovely flow!
Reply
:iconsephiroththepure:
SephirothThePure Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2008
Thank you very much! I appreciate it very much. Thanks for the fav, too.
Reply
:iconpearl-dust:
pearl-dust Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2008   Writer
a joy! :)
Reply
:iconsephiroththepure:
SephirothThePure Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2008
I will browse your gallery later!
Reply
:iconpearl-dust:
pearl-dust Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2008   Writer
thank u! look forward to it! :)
Reply
:iconunknown-silhouette:
Unknown-Silhouette Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2008   Writer
That's very beautiful
Reply
:iconsephiroththepure:
SephirothThePure Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2008
Why thank you very much. I appreciate the comment. :D
Reply
:iconunknown-silhouette:
Unknown-Silhouette Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2008   Writer
You are more than welcome :)
Reply
:iconyamitenshi360:
yamitenshi360 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2008
its bootifull sephie!
Reply
:iconsephiroththepure:
SephirothThePure Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2008
:XD: Thanks, yami!
Reply
:iconyamitenshi360:
yamitenshi360 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2008
:hug:
Reply
:iconapple-scruffs1970:
apple-scruffs1970 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2008  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I like it, but it seems kind of lyrical if you know what I mean. It seems to repeat in the last stanza and I kind of feel like you need to say something else there. "laugh away the pain" "dance away the pain" ...

It just seems like the last two stanzas need to say something different. I don't know. Maybe it's just me.

And I just want to reiterate I like the poem, it's very nice and cuddly romantic :D
Reply
:iconsephiroththepure:
SephirothThePure Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2008
lol, cuddly romantic. :XD: Thanks, hon.

And I agree, it still needs work. Thanks so much for the criticism. Like I said, we were closing up the office when I typed it, so I kinda rushed at the end. Cause I didn't want to lose what I had.
Reply
:iconapple-scruffs1970:
apple-scruffs1970 Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2008  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I completely understand. I've done that before where I typed something in class, but I don't have anyway of saving it, so I just print it out or just send it to myself in an e-mail.
Reply
:iconsephiroththepure:
SephirothThePure Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2008
and I still need to work on it. Though I do like it for the most part as-is.
Reply
:iconforgottenangel777:
Forgottenangel777 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2008
I LOVE it! Not kidding one bit.
Did you know my number one dream right now is to be kissed in the rain? :heart:
Casey's trying to make that happen, just never rains when I'm with him. haha ^_^
Reply
:iconsephiroththepure:
SephirothThePure Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2008
No, I didn't know. I'm glad you love it! Aww...dun worry, it'll happen when it's meant to. And it'll be awesome. :D
Reply
:iconforgottenangel777:
Forgottenangel777 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2008
I really hope so! =D
Reply
:iconxxjustpassingbyxx:
XxJustPassingByxX Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2008   Writer
Awesome! :icongwahplz::heart::heart: XD


Now dance with me,
Dance away your pain,
Show me your love
Let's dance in the rain


MY FAV PART!! XD
Reply
:iconsephiroththepure:
SephirothThePure Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2008
Thanks! That's my favorite part too. That and "We're falling apart, holding each other - Never let me go, we'll love one another". Those are my two favorite parts.
Reply
:iconmoonlite-dreamer:
Moonlite-Dreamer Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2008
Awesome.
Reply
:iconsephiroththepure:
SephirothThePure Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2008
Thanks.
Reply
:iconmoonlite-dreamer:
Moonlite-Dreamer Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2008
You're welcome.
Reply
:iconsephiroththepure:
SephirothThePure Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2008
:icongwomp:
Reply
:icondeborafonseca:
DeboraFonseca Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
:heart:
Reply
:iconsephiroththepure:
SephirothThePure Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2008
:hug: Thanks, dear.
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